While the above may seem an odd title for a post on success and happiness, it has nothing to do with legal approaches. Rather, "S.U.E." is an acronym for several powerful mindset strategies which will help you overcome most mental obstacles you have so that your thoughts can work for you instead of against you. You then will be able to lessen the stress associated with such thinking. You can learn more about stress management in detail in our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.) available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. For more information, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com . Some credit should go to Dr. Martin Seligman, a psychologist. In his book "Learned Optimism" he showed how we can learn to be more optimistic, while some people think we're just born the way we are. It is how we explain events that influence how we will perform, whether in business or in our personal lives. Now here is where my acronym "S.U.E." comes into play.
S - stands for Specific, contrasted with general. If you are criticized, or if you have a setback, or a customer hangs up in your ear, then there is a specific response you can make. You could say that was annoying that this person hung up in your ear but that's all, I've had a number of other successful experiences. The person who becomes demoralized by such events tells themselves that what just happened is general, in contrast to specific. If you think about setbacks more generally, that then becomes more demoralizing and depressing. You may become prone to avoiding other similar possible events based on the one.
U - stands for Unstable contrasted with stable. If you view the upsetting situation as unstable you are saying that it happens from time to time but it's not a regular part of your life. If your business call did not work out well, you could decide that this is annoying, frustrating, inconveniencing but doesn't always happen and that you often have successful calls. That's more of an unstable view which is what you want. A more stable view (and more upsetting), is if you tell yourself that everything bad happens to you, you are a bad businessperson, and nothing works for you.
E - stands for External contrasted with internal. The idea is that if the same negative event happens, you view it as more outside yourself and not a permanent negative characteristic or trait of yourself. Please understand that I am NOT saying to blame everyone else and take no self-responsibility. What I am saying is to consider that the response you got is external to you, e.g. the prospect may be having a bad day, it may not be the best time for this product or service for them. This is in contrast to the view that I am an incompetent person (internal view). These internal self-characterizations cause you more difficulty because you will get down on yourself more often and overgeneralize about your negative aspects.
So don't go to the courthouse to file legal papers. Rather "S.U.E." frustrating situations by thinking of them as specific, as unstable, and as external to you and not reflective of your internal capacity or ability. Learn to identify, dispute, and change your limiting thinking. You will be less likely to overreact to setbacks and obstacles.
If you have not already done so, you can go to the Free Download tab on the website www.successandmindset.com, provide your name and email, and download the entire ebook titled "S.U.E. Your Way to Success". Change your thoughts to change your results.
Good luck on your journey in these challenging times. Happy New Year!
Dr. Paul Longobardi